According to news reports, this week marks the hottest week in the year. But I feel like I'm in Dante's inferno aka Hell. Then again, I've never been to hell so there is no measure for comparison. Nevertheless, the weather's been insane. More reasons to migrate!
Tomorrow's midweek. And it feels just like yesterday when I last blogged. Amazing. Where did the time go? It's not midweek but I'm already exhausted. For the first time ever, I was reluctant to go to class today not because I was in a foul mood but I was just 'too pooped too piss'. I gave a horrible lecture and felt really bad and guilty about it thereafter. I think I confused the kids ... and myself; several contradictions too but I guess the students didn't catch those! But it's that nagging feeling of 'less than perfection'. Doesn't feel too good.
Think the SYF, the annual production, the climbing kids' competition, College day, and those ridiculous deadlines PLUS THE MARKING are taking its toll! But the short chat with Barney and Wilfred at the close of a very long day was uplifting. And I've decided to take the night off, after gaining an endorphin surge from a 5km run, to do no-thing and have an early night.
BUT THERE'S WORK!? It can wait ... I've been wanting to do something for the kids in class too with the short affirmations they wrote for one another but ... sigh ... no time to work that out and do it yet. Hhhhmmmm ... I begin to wonder sometimes - the greatest irony of life as a teacher is that we try to do so much but how much of these we do 'officially' does matter? Sometimes, it's the little things that count - things that come from within, with heart and soul. Think I should get down to doing those soon.
I begin to wonder if my standards and expectations are, very often, too high for the students. I've thought about this not too long ago in the not-so-distant past with regards to my class. Now I'm re-thinking the issue with regards to the Drama kids. They're pissing me off with their lack of discipline to work hard. It's the 'spineless' attitude that I am disgusted with. They have a chance at a really good performance - a Gold award for the first time. Everything's been provided: a good script (shameless!), a renown set designer building an avant-garde artwork for $3500, and a really passionate director. But it can never be if they do not 'buck up'. And out of frustration, I cancelled rehearsal today ... at 7pm ... Let's hope for better days.
Now sleep awaits.
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