We go through life in constant deference - of a happier day, a better time, a joyous occasion, the perfect partner, the perfect home, the day which we would like realised in the way we have imagined it.
But would it ever happen? Are we closetted romantics at heart, dreamers to say the least? Perhaps I am one. Bounded by the polarics of hope and dreams, and cynical pragmatism, life seems to be a struggle to find some balance between the two much like how Zen philosophy teaches about balance, of yin & yang, of symmetry and harmony (in Greek Philosophy) But how do we find it? Does it come with age? Does it come with an equipped mind? Does it come with experience and maturity? How do we love and learn from the past to prepare for the future yet live in the present?
We seem to be constantly searching for some fulfillment; something to to call our own; something that is perfect. What is my search? What am I 'waiting' for? I keep telling others that I am waiting for my bond to end so that I may leave this place and venture elsewhere to 'spread my wings' and pursue something that I love. And so I am? But would that honestly fulfill my 'search'? Would I, two years from now, honestly say that I can and will be satisfied? What will I look forward to next? I have no answers ... I love what I do now. I love educating; I love the kids. Yet I know the occupational hazards and know them well enough to such point that I need bear in constant reminder how I must not stay too long.
But what next?
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