In Memoriam

Having opened my mailbox, I read a mail of dismal news.

One of the relief teachers had just passed away in his sleep on Saturday morning ...

I would not say that I am grieved, nor do I feel a sense of loss. I would, at best, say that I am taken aback and dumbstruck by the news.

Paul and I had hardly conversed for more than 5 occasions at best. I honestly do not know him nor he me. The news disturbs me because Paul is only 25, a 25 year old that had just completed his degree in Philosophy and was awaiting life to begin. A 25 year old that was in the pink of health and looked forward to the next day with fervour and expectancy. A 25 year old that didn't quite believe life, like a wicker, could be so brief, so fleeting, so sudden, so short.

Perhaps that is what disturbs me the most. Most of us live life expecting to see the next morning. Most of us believe we will meet our friends and loved ones, even those we hate and detest, the next day. But no one guaranteed this fiction we have created. If anything, life is fragile. We have merely taught ourselves to believe that we are invincible. We live life thinking we would live forever.

Paul didn't have a wife or children. He didn't have fame or fortune. But do these eventually matter in the face of death? Why do we seek all of these thinking that they would last? I am disturbed ... I just lunched with Paul on thursday last. Now he's gone ...

They say the good die young ... Perhaps that is true. I can't help but at times feel that some others should be gone - not those like Paul.

This is to you Paul. I hope you find a better place.