Blanc

The french word for 'white'; I'd rather take it more literally as 'blank' ...

Which pretty much sums up the day. The norm goes for invigilating a full day, staring mindlessly into 'blanc' space and feeling hot and humid - most of all terribly bored and distracted.

I'm quite pleased with myself nonetheless - at the accomplishment of completing 2 books in 3 days of invigilation. It is a testimony to how much time one can possibly waste while invigilating, not that reading is a waste of time. It's a joy because I haven't had such time to read in a really long time. And it certainly dawned on me how much I miss sitting down with a good book and getting enwrapped in the purity of the narrative.

Let's see ... the usual buzz with the Climbing competition that is no longer creeping in closer but galloping its way with gathering speed. There is yet so much to be done. "Show Off" is yet another worry which I've had little time to worry - and that is really worrisome. I'd best attend to them both tomorrow during my lunch break between 2 invigilations ... again ...

My kids are presenting for their PW tomorrow. I'm a little anxious and am hoping to drop by and see how they perform. I'm sure they'll be alright. I've grilled them well - and they're now tender and 'well-done'. Nonetheless, a little anxiety does prevail.

People are such complex beings that one could never truly understand the other; neither can one fully understand oneself. Unpredicatability is man's greatest strength yet his own worst enemy. Sigh ... friendship becomes complicated because of various 'complexities', including inferiority-typed ones. Some just choose to play the 'guilt-trip' game by threatening to withdraw their friendship or make you feel real bad so you'd do something for them. It becomes a little wearisome after a while and it takes an emotional toll on both parties.

Others, ironically (and painfully), expect you to be there but disappear the moment they notice abnormalities (in mood or otherwise) about you. Sigh ... friendship .... people. Complex. I thought I've pretty much figured out behavioural modes and moods. Apparently I was wrong. I thought I was a pretty good judge of character and can tell a good friend from another but again, I guess I'm a little too trusting (and naive) than I thought I was. But then again, it could be me. As my class likes to tell me "It's YOUR fault"! :) Well ... cute adorable lot they are.

In any case, one must learn to accept the realities that circumstances can and often are beyond one's control - reactions to them aren't and that's what, perhaps, destiny is - chartering one's path amidst the storm of uncertainty, taking control of the your ship of life.
Che sera sera.