Friday, July 23, 2004

Unfinished Business

Whether one takes it metaphorically or literally, life is full of unfinished businesses: emotional baggage, lost loves, broken friendships, feuds, antagonisms, foiled relationships, hurts, pains, memories, work left undone, children to care for, spouses yearning for constant signs of affection, meeting demands, bills to pay, studies to do.

Whatever form it takes, one thing is certain - it takes one's energy especially those that require emotional dabbling and attention. And one thing else: they never end. Unfinished businesses just keep coming like a persistent plague. Perhaps that is yet another aspect of life one must learn to accept. Things won't go away just because one buries his head in the sand.

I thought I would be having a quiet term so that I could focus on my teaching and revision with the kids particularly since the major projects that I've been handling have come to a recognisable end. How wrong could I be? Anticipation and reality sometimes exist in clearly distinct realms ...

There is so much admin work to be done, so many forms to fill, class administration, PDP administration, work reviews, EPMS and a whole lot of other crap that have now reminded me why I love teaching but not being a teacher - HERE! Everything in this school demands lightning efficiency and things happen at lightning speeds. And like lightning, they come without warning leaving you extremely little time to react. You are expected to stay on your toes and stay on them firmly or be swept away. This is just  a microcosm of the society we live in - and the government ponders why its citizens yearn to leave permanently despite the economic benefits that prevail.

In a few minutes time, I'll have to return to school for a camp, and watch yet another Saturday be burnt for the JC Debate finals. I'll sit at my desk again, in the middle of the night, staring at the work that needs attention especially the Language Arts programme and curriculum for the Through-Train programme which has now fallen on my lap for some reason or other - in the absence of our 'respected' leader who is enjoying her maternity leave. To top it off, the Open House is next week and yet again we have only this much time to react. I'm quite certain that there is an opportunity cost to this incessant 'lightning' occurrences - the quality of something  will go ... and it most likely will be the students' work and results. The definitive decline in the overall A level results as evidenced in the pas two years is quite clear enough a 'divine' consequence.

The reason is simple: everything, as in Zen philosophy or Buddhism, is inter-connected. It is a 'web' of associations, like life. These programmes tax not only the students directly, they wear out the teachers who are key to imparting the knowledge and instructing the students. Either way this happens, something will go ... Let's just hope it is not my sanity first ... nor my health for I am feeling an onset of some virulent strain of flu.

Oh my ... I've forgotten ... I need to set the Prelim paper!





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