A Good Life

My ... I'm feeling weak and have been suffering from a bronchital cough for almost a week. And it has yet to recover. It's bound to take a toll on my trekking trip. Let's hope I recover REALLY soon or I'll be in trouble when we get there.

What makes a good life? Phyl popped that question today when she dropped by school to have a chat while I was lamenting about having to stay back late in school as the climbing kids were having their training.

I'm not quite sure what the answer is really; well, at least not an objective and universal one. I don't think there is a universal all-encompassing response to a perennial question such as this - one that has been asked since the dialogues Socrates and Plato had.

So what makes a good life? Essentially, what do people live for? We were both making observations about the state of things in the school particularly the management (higher powers-that-be) and our fellow colleagues and we came to a startling (well, it isn't that startling really) realisation that so many were working for their own benefit, for that bigger paycheck and expanded power - and they would do virtually anything to get there, even betray principles and decimate values (if they had any to begin with). To many, I guess, it is just an occupation. So much for the nobility of the teaching profession.

But the question remains - what makes a good life? Would living a good life mean rejecting many of the notions (I hesitate to use the word 'values' here) that our commodity-fetishised and material-driven society promotes? Would one need to betray, or bend, one's beliefs in order to get into a position of authority enough to make a change? But would one still remember what it's like 'on-the-ground' so to speak; the place where the common person stands, the woes s/he has in which one is/was meant to make a difference in?

What makes a good life? To Phyl, it is about how one feels inside; it is about self-knowledge and peace within. Happiness is part of that equation but it shouldn't be the defining characteristic of a good life because one can be too delusional when inhaling the transcient air of 'happiness'. Relationships, to Phyl, are also important. Or rather, she asked me if they were important in defining a good life and I agreed readily. But again, there is no single relationship that is completely fulfilling. Perhaps it's my cynical nature and my history with relationships but no single person fills you completely. It doesn't mean relationships aren't important. If anything, they are. It's just that one needs to have several relationships - friends come into the picture here. And for me, ever since I was a young child, friends have played such in important role in helping me grow and learn, and they've helped provide more than the little I got at home.

I guess I've shaken off my naive belief that friendships last forever. They don't. But it doesn't mean they aren't important. You take them with you as long as you can till such time that time or circumstance prompts you to move on. That friendship has served its purpose in your life and it is time to move on. Learning this lesson was a difficult one for me.

So what is a good life? I don't have an answer for everyone. I only have one for myself. And even so, I believe that definition will change with time. A good life: It's a process; not an end. People who think it is an end find their meaning in material possessions. Believing that a good life is a process makes one realise that it is about living every single day the best way one knows how to; it's about being true to oneself however one defines that truth individually. It's about acceptance - of oneself; honesty to oneself. It's about challenge; it's about change; it's about one's best efforts in whatever one does. More importantly, it's about loving oneself enough so that one can love others. The latter is a cliche but, honestly, how many people actually live that cliche?