I understand, finally, what it means to stand at the gates of hell.
The verdict is in and the decision is now mine to make ... in the next three days.
But there are conditions: If I accept I know I will concedingly and willingly enter hell and will find no exit, no retreat, for another 2 years. If don't, I will face the same demons, merely with a different face and disposition, now till I go.
In either scenario, I will suffer the crackling flames of hell. The pain is merely psychological. But what about that which I value most ... my soul?
If I accept I know, like Faust, I will have to sell my soul. I will become like all who accept and yearn for power and position. I have read my Foucault, I have seen what power does to good men.
It destroys them ... It leaves them weary, worn and ... lonely.
If I do not, I will resign from even the control of my destiny; I will hand others the power to control my life. I will be powerless in the face of oppression. I will see that which I've built being taken away and ... destroyed. And I will be powerless to change the inevitable.
Must I sell my soul ... to preserve myself and the things I love?
Is this what they call the lesser of two evils? Is there no other alternative?
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